Linked In…not even safe

I searched my Linked In profile today for clues that would give someone the thought that I would possibly be interested in the porn industry, giving massages, meetings for sexual encounters, being hired as a secretary, or connecting with random people that have no bearing on my chosen profession.   I thought that I had perhaps accepted someone as a contact in the past that may have led to one of the above assumptions, however I do a fairly thorough job of scrutinizing people before connecting with anyone, and my search yielded no suspects.  So why or how am I getting requests to connect with people interested in those topics?    I searched my posts next.  Perhaps I had written something suggestive?   No, I didn’t find anything of that nature.    I looked at my picture. Could that be provoking a response?  I’m smiling.   Did that cause it?  Perhaps I should be frowning, but I thought I should look friendly in my LinkedIn picture- but not too friendly.  My picture does show a tiny hint of cleavage at the bottom, but certainly nothing that would look out of place in an office setting. I had cropped my picture so as to not show any cleavage; however that also cut my hair out of the picture, and I like my hair so I went with the uncropped picture.   So what could generate those assumptions about me?   The only answer left is that I am not a man.   I am not a man therefore I must be interested in being a porn star.  I am not a man therefore I must be available for sexual encounters with the self-proclaimed well-endowed suitors that proposition me.  I am not a man therefore I would be willing to serve as a man’s secretary with the promise of no office duties other than massaging his back once in a while, or other tasks as assigned.    I am not a man so therefore I must be interested in connecting with someone who has nothing to do with my industry or interests simply because the requestor presumes I should be honored to connect with such a handsome person.   I expect this treatment at a bar, or even walking down the street.    I don’t appreciate it or welcome it, but I’m under no illusions as to how society runs.   I do however hope that in a job networking site such as LinkedIn; that the majority of connection requests, or email messages that I receive are actually related to work.  Such has not been the case. It has not been the case by far.    As a man you are unlikely to be the recipient of such annoyances, so you cannot appreciate the cumulative effect it has on women.   It doesn’t break us because we are strong, and have been culturally conditioned to deal with it, but it is tiring.  Tiring.  That is the right word.   It is a heavy weight that we have to carry on a daily basis, and a weight it is.   It is a weight you do not have to carry.  But we do.  Every day.  We carry the weight that you as men cumulatively place on us with the words that you think are cute, or witty, but that are nothing more than one more brick placed in the weighted bag that all women must carry.   You fill it up.   And you don’t even realize it.   I wish you could.  I wish someone would look at you and only see a piece of meat to be exploited or used as a sexual object.   Oh great you say, you’d welcome that you smirk.  But you really wouldn’t.  Not over time.  Not every minute of the day.  And I wouldn’t actually wish that on you.  Because I am a human being.  I have feelings.  I have feelings for you and what you feel.   Maybe you should try to have those feelings for me?  Think of how your actions impact me.  As a woman, I think of how my actions impact everyone.  How will it make you feel?  Will it hurt you if I say that?   Will it diminish you?   So I don’t say those things.  It’s not weakness.  It’s respect.  I treat you with respect.   Try returning some of that respect.   Women are people too.    I know all men are not this way.  I’m not stereotyping you all in one group.   I’m simply talking to those of you who do treat women the way I describe.   You don’t have to be less a man to treat women with respect.  It’s not just about opening doors; that alone doesn’t make a gentleman.  What makes a gentleman is a man who will treat a woman as a fellow human being, equal both in the law and in society. So try to think about some of this the next time you leave your home.  Try to catch yourself just once during the day and prevent yourself from placing that brick in some woman’s weighted bag of society’s expectations.   Peace.  God bless

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Posted on July 21, 2016, in Management & Business, Outrages, Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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